First April Blog

First April Blog.

Empty Pages.

The page is blank,
No words lighten the dark
Though not strictly true,
If I used a pen and paper,
This would oppose.
Even on a computer
Or tablet, it does not quite make sense.
A page here is not white, but light,
And words can be any colour.

This morning, I am in a fog.
My eyes hardly see,
I want to drift off, back to the womb-like
Warmth of bed.
I wish to eradicate me from here,
So that I am persona non grata.
A speck, a piece of dream-like existence
That swirls in the muddy ooze of tranquility.
Never to rise, to break the surface.

Instead, I am inequality,
Shaped to master my physical body.
And when I conquer, then dawn must thrust
Its way through the murk,
Find the words that feed the page.
For that is when I become Me.
Controlling my Destiny,
Manipulating my characters,
Showing them how
To tell their own story.

Copyright Evelyn J. Steward. March 2016.
AT LAST, you say, a piece of writing!!!

“””April has arrived, at long last.” Terrie’s statement was one of elation as she searched for the ealy blooms.

“I know what you mean, at least now the sun is shining,” replied Gina, Terrie’s half sister, the words forming slowly.

Both women had come to a halt at the mullioned window, borh gazing out at the early spring blossom on the almond trees down the pathway leading to the knot garden.

“Don’t you love the spring?” asked Terrie, turning to face Gina who was almost day-dreaming, her eyes becoming slits.

“I suppose so,” said Gina, brushing her new ‘bob’ back out of her eyes, “though summer has to be my favourite, really.”

This was the first time they had met in person. The telephone was hardly a reference point when it came to getting to know your father’s other child.

Terrie turned back to gaze at a robin that had flown up to the lowest bough and perched there, starting to sing loudly. Truly a winter bird. You hardly ever saw them in summer. They disappeared in amongst the foliage, or darted about finding food for their little ones. Occasionally, one would land on the handle of the gardener’s spade, waiting for the earth to be turned and a tasty worm to be exposed. Then it would fly down, grab the worm in its beak and disappear under the hedge. Terrie had spent many hours watching the odd robin about its business, totally transfixed.

Gina shook her head free of the vista. “So…what is the plan for today? I can unpack later.”

“Well, yes, there are plans to go over…. before we do the rounds.”


“Yes! A daily routine check that all is well. That the staff have turned up. All the lawns have been freshly cut and no litter about, of any kind. So many items have to be checked into the gift shop. This is a business. It does not run by itself, Gina. I thought you knew all this? No, never mind. I’ll rake you though it.”

Gina was staring wide-eyed at Terrie. “Am I supposed to help you run this place then?”

“Yes!” She presumed that was why Gina had driven down at the drop of the proverbial straight after the house was sold.

Shrugging her shoulders, Gina turned back to the view through the window. I …I thought it was just…..running a household. I can do that easy enough. Did that for dad. Just tell the servants what to do, make sure the parties go off O.K. A cinch!”

“Well, we sort of have to do that here, exceot that they are not serants but staff. Some are volunteers. You cannot go around bossing these lovely people, who help me so much. They are paid employees and as such, they have rights. Have to be treated kindly, or this place shuts down. We would all suffer if there was a fracais and they all walked out.”

“i’m sorry,” Gina answered softly. “I never realised how important this was to you. I suppose, it never was a part of my life so I just did not think of the consequences of getting rid of a servant, sorry, staff person.”

“Well, now perhaps you do. Yes, occasionlly you get one that…doe not quite fit and I have to let them go. It dies not happen often. Most if the people here have woked here firn years. Love the place lmist a if it were thei own. if you want to be a part of it all……..?” Terrie left the question hanging, watching her strp sister’s mind going over what they had just spoken about.

Gina’s mind was in a mini turmoil. She had said she would help without realising what it involved. But, with her father gone, the money all eaten up with taxes that had to be paid, lawyers fees and everything else, and with no job that she could do on the horizon, this was about all she seemed fit for. She made her mind up. “Yes, Terrie, I would like to try. I really would.” Moisture formed in the corners of her eyes. Trying to blink it back, she turned her head away. The robin landed on the branch again. Such a bright little bird.

Terrie saw the tears forming, moved close to Gina and put her arms around this waif of a woman. It would be hard for Gina to adapt, she knew it, but having dealt with many a new young employee often enough, she had the strength and the kindness to help her though this harrowing time. After all, it might be Gina’s father, but it was her father too, though he had left her and her mother a long time ago. In fact, she barely remembered what he looked like, so there was no way of telling if Gina looked anything like him, or whether he took after her mother. And Terrie had never even seen a picture of her mother.

After the divorce, her own mother kept clear of anything to do with her father, to the extent of checking newsoapers and magazines. If there were pictures, she cut them out before Terrie was allowed to look at them. This was how acrimonious the whole divorce turned out. Her father’s name was never mentioned in the house again. It was only after her mother died that Terrie began to see stories about her father, his lifestyle, his family. She had felt cut off from her heritage which is why, when she heard of hus demise, she tried making contact. And here was his offspring, in the flesh and obviously, in need of support. Out of her depth and into Terrie’s pond. **********


‘Oh to be in England, now that April’s there’. Famous quote, I make no bones about using it, for April should be the start of spring. Enjoy your spring or autumn, if it is that for you (or anything inbetween). Be happy and be safe.


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